


don't buy me a thermometer

by fated_addiction



Category: GOT7, K-pop, KARA (Band), Korean Actor RPF, 룸메이트 | Roommate (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, RPF, Romance, what is life anymore guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 01:31:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3510170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fated_addiction/pseuds/fated_addiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Look," Gyuri tells her. "We're just trying to give our permission."</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Youngji decides she would be, like, the worst spy ever. Secrets have never been Jackson's thing either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't buy me a thermometer

**Author's Note:**

> Written as per request on tumblr by [ypetite](http://ypetite.tumblr.com/). Because I couldn't help myself and all that.

Youngji walks through the door of the practice room and finds both Hara and Gyuri waiting and walking through a third round of their new choreography.

The last couple of weeks have been long, hard enough, and between the workload of a comeback, the rest of her commitments, and trying, trying really _hard_ to keep up with having some kind of normal contact with her parents and friends, she feels like she's going a little crazy. Her body hates her too, but she can't even begin to wrap her head around getting sick. 

Hara is the first to stop, smiling widely when she sees her and bounds over to grab Youngji's bag.

"Let's talk!" Hara says cheerfully, linking their arms. She drags her to the middle of the room, where Gyuri is sitting, and forces her to sit down.

"What did I do?"

Gyuri laughs. "Nothing." Hara eyes their leader, shaking her head. " Well, it's not that you didn't do nothing," she says too.

Youngji blinks. "But --" she curls her legs underneath her. "Wait, then why are you so serious, eonni?"

"We're not serious!" Both Hara and Gyuri laugh. They make it a point to laugh and Youngji bites back her amusement, trying to make sure that she stays as serious as possible. They're her eonnis, she tells herself, but she feels like her parents are trying to break the news to her about something. "Look," Gyuri tells her. "We're just trying to give our permission."

"Your permission?" 

Hara rolls her eyes at Gyuri. "Eonni," she says seriously. "You're so bad at this."

"I am not." Gyuri shrugs. "We don't have to be so cryptic."

"We're not being _cryptic_ ," Hara insists, then sticks out her tongue, and Youngji can't help but laugh. She bites her lip when Hara glares at her. "We're trying to give you permission to date Jackson."

Oh _my_ god, she thinks.

It's one of those things that happens in slow motion. She's totally and completely aware of what Hara just says -- it's not like _dating_ and _Jackson_ haven't been thrown around before, especially when it comes to getting a rise between the two of them. She's more than aware of her two eonnis staring at her, waiting for her to say something. Then it hits her though, her mouth drying, her tongue pursing nervously against the roof of her mouth, and she starts to press her palms into her knees. 

Hara knows all of her tells. She starts to smile slowly.

"Youngji-ah."

Youngji shakes her head. "Sorry, I just --"

Gyuri shifts and sits, sliding close to her. She throws an arm around her shoulder.

"We're not saying that you have to do anything."

Hara shakes her head. "But you could."

Gyuri glares at Hara. "But you could," she says too. "I'm just saying that if you really like him --" Hara clears her throat to interrupt, but Gyuri glares again, "like _really_ like him -- you shouldn't feel burdened. You should do something about it. Nothing better than having an outlet with someone who gets what... well, what this is." She waves her hand around the practice room. "This gets stressful."

"Totally stressful," Hara adds.

"Secret boyfriends are fun." Gyuri shrugs, Hara laughs, and Youngji stares at them both with wide eyes. "Sometimes it's nice to have a secret too."

"You just have to be smart about it." Hara nudges her. "Which is why we're giving you our permission -- before Seungyeon decides to intervene."

Youngji's eyes are huge. "Intervene --"

"Well," Hara starts. "The last time --"

"Stop," Gyuri interrupts. "Don't scare her," she adds, laughing. She meets Youngji's horrified look. "Seungyeon is a last resort. She'll take you to a matchmaker if she has to."

"Eonni," Youngji moans. "This is so --" 

"Cute," Hara teases.

Youngji keeps rubbing her hands against her legs. She has to be back tonight, she keeps thinking. Dongwook wants to take a trip with the two of them. Jackson even asked her to pick up something for him on her way in. But she thinks about it, seriously considered it, even remembers that both Lizzy and Sohyun telling her that it's pretty obvious that she does, in fact, really like him.

"Yah."

Hara sits next to her, leaning forward and brushing her hands against her face. "Have you even considered it?"

Youngji's face is pink. "Dating him?" she mumbles. "I guess."

"You have." Hara laughs delightedly. "It's okay."

"I know," she mumbles. She feels self-conscious. She meets her own gaze in the mirrors. Her eyes are too wide, she thinks. She looks tired. She's not petite enough and she knows, she tells herself, that he has a particular type. "I mean." She shrugs. "I would be lying if I said I wasn't. It's just that I don't think he considers it and I think that I haven't even really -- like, well, _really, really_ thought about it either."

Her words feel a little weird. She feels a little too honest too. She knows that she can tell them everything. Walls have long since comedown with her group members. It's just that any mention of Jackson, and lately, especially, when there are no cameras and none of the other roommates around, she starts to think seriously about these things. Her parents love him. Her sister and her members love him. 

It's just that she thinks about how complicated it could be and it was already a struggle to get this far. Continues to be, she tells herself. She worries. She works too hard because it feels like she has even more to prove. Fans, she thinks too, are terrifying to her. It's a separate reality that she's only been exposed to second hand; hearing Sunny and Hara's stories only remind her that it won't just be any secret.

"Have you asked him?" Gyuri chimes in.

Youngji's eyes widen. Her hand moves and presses against her chest. Her heart is pounding.

"I'm not that forward, eonni." She tucks her hair behind her ear too. She looks down, biting her lip. "Stuff like that happens accidentally to me." She shakes her head. "I'm not that brave."

Hara softens. "Now," she says. "That's a lie."

The two older girls look at her, smiling too honestly. Youngji gets uncomfortable, not too uncomfortable, but she's still, seriously, confused and embarrassed when she becomes the center of attention. She shies away a little.

"It's true," she mumbles again.

Youngji decides she would be, like, the worst spy ever.

Her face is hot now. Gyuri wraps an arm around her waist, but Youngji buries her face against her hands.

Hara laughs. "I knew you liked him," she says, "but I didn't know it was this much."

This is the problem.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

The house is almost empty when she gets back, feeling less like herself and more like she hasn't sleep in weeks which, if anything, is totally true too. Jackson bounds down the stairs, just as she walks in, dragging her suitcase and bag behind her. Cucumber is barking and he grabs both her bags instead of letting her carry one.

"You look tired," he tells her, over the shoulder, grinning widely. "You should nap," he says and points to the camera. "No one is here yet. I think Sunny and Nana are coming from the airport? I know the hyungs are coming back late."

"Ah, okay."

He stops in the middle of the stairs. He holds the bag tightly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she says, shrugging. She walks up and meets him halfway. Her hand drops and tries to curl around the suitcase handle, but Jackson pushes it away.

"You get cranky," he mutters. "When you're tired." She can't really go and say: _I'm just overwhelmed_. That doesn't make any sense either. "You get a wrinkly face."

"I do _not_."

"Do too," he says easily.

He pulls the bag to the top of the stairs. She follows and tries to think logically. She'll go to bed. She'll rest. The conversation that she had with her eonnis will be forgotten. Her boots are heavy though. When Jackson stops, she runs into his back, her hands bracing against his back to catch her fall. He drops her bag though, whirling around and catching her by the wrist. He pulls her forward, off the stairs. They stumble forward and he turns them into the wall, catching his balance against her.

Her mouth open. She feels her face burning.

"You do _too_."

Her fingers curl in his shirt. "Jerk," she mumbles, looking away. "You scared me."

He lets go of her.

"You're being weird," he says. He's almost thoughtful. "Like really weird -- did I say something stupid again and you're too embarrassed to say something back? You know you can tell me when I do these things. That's what we call friends."

Youngji sticks her tongue out. "I'm not an idiot."

She grabs her bag and the suitcase, pushing it through the door of the bedroom. She kicks it with one foot, but Jackson follows and drops into her bed.

"You're still being weird though."

"I'm just tired, Jackson."

He stretches his legs out in front of him, mindful of Nana's bed. She moves around him and drops her phone onto the bed, pulling her hair back into a ponytail.

"Youngji-ahhhhhh," he moans. "Why are you like this? What's going on? Do I have to, like --"

"Annoy it out of me even more?" she says dryly, "It's not really going to change anything. I don't really want to talk about it."

He turns, reaching forward. His hand drops over her forehead and he's frowning, his mouth turning into a pout. She watches him bite his lip, then smooth her bangs away from her face too.

"You're hot."

"Tired," she corrects.

"This is stupid." He pushes her gently back into the bed, standing. He reaches for her blanket. "Don't argue with me, okay? You probably need to sleep --"

"I --" He gives her a look and she sighs, giving up. She watches him instead; he pulls the blanket over her legs, then draws them over her. He tucks the edges into her side. "Seriously though," he says. "Are you getting sick?"

Youngji moans. "I can't get _sick_. Don't even say that. That's not even _funny_ , Wang Jackson!"

He scoffs and pats her forehead, drawing back away from the bed. His hands go to his hips and he looks around the room. Then suddenly, it's the strangest thing -- he draws the blinds for the window, turns the lights to low, and moves around the room like he's done this for her plenty of times. He comes back to her side at least twice; first, to tuck her in again, the second time to feel her forehead, and there's a third, fourth, and maybe fifth time where he decides to scold her for getting sick.

She is exhausted enough to not fight him. Somewhere between dozing off and _really_ falling asleep, his hand brushes through her hair.

"Idiot," he breathes.

Jackson's fingers linger long enough.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

So. She's sick. Like pretty sick. 

Sick enough to be angry with herself for wondering when it started and then not knowing whether or not it's because she's been going non-stop for weeks because of KARA's come back. It's still the _worst_.

The roommates have an outing and she can't even muster the strength to get up and go. Her fever is high, she has the chills, and all she wants is her mom, she tells Jongok, because there's nothing worse than getting sick and your mother is nowhere near where you really want her to be. She feels awful and lonely and really doesn't want to be left alone, but she tells the others to go, have fun, and then tucks herself back into bed.

"You're crazy," Hara tells her when she calls. "It's the best place to be sick."

"I know," she mumbles.

"Do you need me to stop by?" Hara asks and immediately, the guilt rises in Youngji. It started earlier this morning. She tried so hard to move through the day. She could barely make it through the photo shoot she had earlier and they've already had to reschedule their practice. She couldn't ask Hara to come and keep her company.

"No, no." Her throat is tight and she feels like crying. "I just need to sleep, eonni."

Hara says something about calling Sunny too, but she can barely pay attention and says goodbye, crawling deeper into her bed and pulling her blankets over her head. She tries and gets comfortable. She turns once. She turns again. She sits up and messes her hair, pulling it loose and pulling it back up again. She gets up to wash her face. She thinks about taking _another_ shower.

Her legs kick off the blankets instead. She pulls her sweatshirt off of her head and throws it to the floor. She's frustrated and angry.

"Are you hungry?"

She jumps, wide-eyed. Her legs immediately push against her chest and she clutches at the blankets. Jackson walks into the room, dropping his bag by the door.

"And you haven't even put your stuff away," he says, nodding at her bags. Her eyes narrow. "Should I make something?"

"You didn't go to the outing?"

"Nope." He sits at the edge of her bed, watching her. She studies his face. "I had another commitment." He shrugs, smirking. "And then Hara called --"

Youngji groans. "Seriously?"

Her hands cover her face and Jackson laughs. He scoots closer, pulling them away. She manages to keep them against her cheeks, glaring.

"I've never seen you sick before," he says.

"You shouldn't get too close to me," she murmurs. "You have a lot on your plate too."

He shrugs. "I'm going to take care of you. So shut up."

Youngji stares at him and he stares back, that stupid, stupid smirk almost daring her to say something. She just doesn't have the energy to.

"Fine." Her mouth purses into a pout and he grabs the blankets, pulling them back so that she can lie down in bed again. She's getting restless, she thinks. "If that's what you want to do," her voice cracks a little and her throat is starting to burn. She's just so tired, she thinks. "I won't stop you."

"I know."

He stands, staying near her side of the bed. Her eyes are burning now too.

"Have you eaten?"

"I had soup," she says, then turns on her side. She curls and tucks her knees back. She's close to him and watches his hand brush over the bed. It moves to her hair again. She's confused and not even kind of ready to ask, she thinks. "I'm not really hungry."

"You need to eat though." He pauses, presses his hand against her forehead again. "You need to drink a lot of water and rest too."

Her voice is small. "I just want my mom," she says.

The tears start this way. Her eyes prickle. Then her pillow feels a little wet when she shifts her face forward. Her shoulders tighten and then she shudders, releasing a heavy sigh. She closes her eyes and she can't stop, suddenly, nearly panicking when the first sob drops and is muffled against her hand.

She hears him kneel by the bed and his hand wraps around her wrist. He tugs once, then twice, but she's unrelenting. She hates that she's crying in front of him.

"Hey."

She shakes her head.

" _Hey_."

"Jackson," she breathes. "I can't --" His hand moves from her wrist to her face and he's touching her gently, his fingers against her jaw and her hand and then back to her forehead, through her hair.

Her gaze blurs. He's frowning still.

"Stop crying," he tells her. "I can't fix it -- I just -- yah, please don't cry. It makes me want to go and beat someone up."

Youngji laughs. Then she hiccups and their hands lace together, resting on the pillow.

"Don't do that."

He laughs too. "Well," he says. "It's instinctive, you know."

"Beating people up?"

Jackson snorts. "Taking care of you, you idiot." He shrugs and shies away, looking down for a moment. She watches him swallow. "I want to take care of you," he says too.

"So you keep telling me."

His hand is warm. It's steady too. She feels his fingers slide in and out of hers, soft, careful, and then stroking the inside of her wrist. She doesn't know what he's doing. She doesn't have the energy to ask. She can't even bring herself to tell him he's going to get sick too.

"You should sleep."

Her mouth curls. "I'm trying," she murmurs. Her eyes close. "I'm tired of being tired."

His laugh is low. "You're being a brat -- sleep, then I'll wake you up so that you can shower."

"I've already showered," she says.

"Yah. Go to _sleep_ ," he says and that's that, end of discussion and everything in between. She's sleepy enough to not know how long he holds her hand or if he stays long enough to make sure that she sleeps. But she remembers him there, kneeling by her bed, not moving, even humming at her side. She remembers that he stays.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

He makes her soup.

"Don't get too excited," he tells her, and she's a little wide-eyed, sitting up in bed when he brings the tray over. It's tomato soup and there is a grilled cheese too, sliced into messy triangles. It takes a minute to realize that he's gone and called her mom because the only other person that knows that she likes tomato soup when she's sick is her sister and there's just no way.

Her eyes water.

She sees the tea next, touching it gently and looking up at him, touched and bewildered as he moves to sit next to her on the bed. His back settles against the pillows.

"I called your mom _and_ my mom."

"Yeah?" Youngji's breath catches.

He nods. "It's not tea," he explains. "It's just hot water, lemon, and honey. My mom told me it's better to not aggravate your throat. This will help you sleep."

"Okay," she murmurs.

She eats carefully, silently, and then she's sniffing, her eyes watering just a little because she's touched and she doesn't really know how to say it. She takes small bites of the grilled cheese, tries to eat some of the soup, but just ends up wrapping her hands around the hot water, dropping her head against his shoulder.

If he's surprised, he doesn't say anything. He merely shifts closer to her and turns his head, his mouth grazing her hair.

"Okay?"

She shakes her head. "No."

"Do you want to shower again?" he asks. "Maybe you should just wash your hair. I can help you dry it after."

"I'm going to turn into a prune at this rate."

Jackson laughs. "But you'd be cute."

Her nose wrinkles. "Lies."

They sit like this, quietly, and she doesn't really want to ask who is home and who isn't. She knows Seho is napping. Nana and Sunny were both in and out; Nana had a shoot, she thinks she remembers, and Sunny was flying back to Japan for a few days. She barely remembers talking to her mom too and Hara, she thinks, who called and asked if she wanted her to come and see her.

Something in this moment changes for her though. She thinks she's always been aware of Jackson and in particular, what she's thought of him. They've always been honest, if anything, more so than they need to be. It's just been the way that they've connected, both terrifying and strange at the same time.

"Let's play a game," she hears herself say. "A question game. Or a confession game. Maybe it'll make me sleepy too."

Jackson snorts. 

"I'm serious though --" she starts and then he cuts her off, "I know, I know -- okay, fine. You first then. A confession game it is."

Youngji presses her teeth into her lip. She tries to be light-hearted, rubbing her eyes.

"I've started your web series. Dream knight?"

He groans. "I told you not to watch _it_."

"It's cute!" she protests, even laughs a little. "Hara watches it with me. We're a little behind."

"I'll say."

Youngji hits his arm. "I monitor you, okay?" and there comes her confession, her face warming. "I don't get to see you like a normal person, so."

He doesn't say anything. He sort of groans and she laughs again, carefully putting her tray of food over the night table. She looks up at him and he looks embarrassed, shy too, and she hits his arm gently.

"You could call more," he says.

Her eyes widen in surprise. "And say what?"

"I don't know." His voice is dry. "Start with --" and he tries and mimics her voice, "Jackson-oppa! How is your day?"

"I don't sound like that."

He smirks. "You do too."

"Do you want me to call you oppa?" she asks, half-serious, then smiling when he blushes and shrugs. He mutters something like _uhidon'tknow_ and she laughs it off, just a little, to give him some space.

They're quiet again. She shifts against her headboard and draws her knees against her chest. She feels a little stronger, she thinks. Her stomach seems to settle with food.

"I want an event then," she says.

"What?"

Youngji turns her head, her hair spilling forward. She smiles at him, then softens and falls into some seriousness. The words start on their own.

His gaze is unreadable. "What kind of an event?" he asks, studying her. "Your birthday isn't for awhile."

"Surprise me," she shrugs.

Jackson snorts. "Well," he says. "Then tell me you like me."

It comes out of nowhere, his sudden words and they are not just words, they are exactly how they sound and feel: _tell me you like me_. Everything bursts at the surface too. She remembers all the conversations she's had with Hara and Gyuri, Sunny and the other people in her life. Some have come out with the question, straight and clear and without a doubt, to the point. Others have simply looked at her and said _we know_ as if it had been obvious for a long time.

He stares at her. Her hand drops over his, her fingers brushing over his palm. She waits a minute, then another, and finishes with a soft sigh.

She shifts carefully in the bed, her legs dropping as she meets his gaze. There is no one in the room, she tells herself. The filming will resume when the others return from the outing. This doesn't belong to anyone else.

Her voice is soft.

"I --" her teeth bite into her lip and she tucks her hair behind her ear. "I -- I like you."

He doesn't kiss her. She doesn't expect a kiss, but she looks at him and holds his gaze for as long as she can. Something in the way he looks at her changes; his eyes are darker, his mouth relaxes, and then he reaches forward, brushing his fingers over her mouth. It makes everything _different_ and she's more than aware of how the air suddenly changes, how awake she suddenly feels, and how dangerous this could be if they started filming. She can't bring herself to care, or apologize, because something inside of her is growing and she can't stop it. 

"I like you," she says again. It's a little louder. "A lot," she adds seriously and his mouth curls slowly, lazily, into a strange, wide smile. "Okay?" she says.

He tucks her hair behind her ear again and then shifts, draping an arm around her shoulder. She lets her head fall against the crook of his neck.

"Okay," he replies. He pauses. She tries not to rationalize. He's careful next. "Then tell me again when I can kiss you," he says and means it. Her heart is racing so fast and she struggles, still sick, too aware, and unwilling to give up the sudden, tiny amount of space she's been granted between the two of them.

Youngji can only nod. 

Her eyes close slowly. His fingers return to her hair.

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

The morning she returns to the practice room, she's halfway better and armed with tea, honey, and lemon in a mug. 

Youngji saves the text that comes with it.

 _Doctor's orders_ , it says.


End file.
